As Philly snuggled on my lap in the passenger seat of the car, I buried my face in her fur and made little kissy noises. I grabbed hunks of her stomach fat and massaged them gently. I kissed the top of her peanut-like head.
“God, it’s like you’re going to prom with that dog,” Adam said with a hint of a sneer in his voice.
I laughed, but it’s true — I’ve had a major crush on Philly lately. I can’t get enough of her; I watch her from across the room and laugh at her antics. I sneak her kitchen scraps while cooking. I drag myself across the bed to snuggle closer to her while watching TV. I “talk for her” all the time. I’ve always adored her, of course, but for the past few weeks, I’ve been mildly infatuated. Which mildly annoys her, as she is averse to physical affection.
I’m okay with this new dynamic… except that it’s probably because of Chunk. I guess I was paying more attention to him than I realized, especially during the last few months – making sure he didn’t fall down the stairs, keeping an eye out for warning signs of a seizure, fretting over his weight loss, monitoring his activity level. There’s a fairly large, cat-sized hole in my heart these days that needs filling, physically, mentally and spiritiually. God knows Cali can’t be bothered–she’s too busy being gorgeous–so the job has apparently fallen to Philly, whether she likes it or not. (Most days, she does not.)
It’s weird how that happens, how you apparently have a particular quantity of love to give and if the object of that love goes away, you subconciously transfer it onto someone/something else. It seems so harsh, so impersonal. I feel rather guilty, loving Philly more because Chunk is gone.
But, just like divorcees and widows find second and third spouses, I guess it’s okay for me to snuggle Philly more now that my one true pet love is gone? After all, it’s not like she’s replacing Chunk; who ever could? She’s just taking on a little bit of extra responsibility around the house these days. I need cuddling, dammit–it’s an annoying job, but someone’s got to do it! It’s high time for Miss Phyllis to start earning her keep.
Let’s just hope she doesn’t take this literally and develop all kinds of rare, crazy diseases.